Women today wear many hats. Some of us are mothers, daughters, working professionals, wives, etc. We spend day after day alternating our “hats” and doing our best to show up for the people in our lives. What we may not realize is that each of us has a certain amount of energy every day. If we give all of our energy to others without refilling our cup, we are left depleted.
I often have women in my office express that they feel overwhelmed, tired, resentful, anxious, and sometimes depressed. I gently ask them what are you doing for self-care? What are you doing to fill YOUR cup? Many of them don’t have an answer. Some people are so disconnected from themselves that they may not even know what self-care is, or where to start. If you’re reading this and saying that’s me, don’t fret! It is never too late to start!
There are eight pillars of self-care. Mental, Emotional, Physical, Environmental, Spiritual, recreational and social. Mental self-care may look like being intentional about screen time, shutting off the phone at 9:00 PM every night. Take care to avoid the news, Do a “brain dump,” and write down all of your negative thoughts and fears. Give yourself time every day to practice mindfulness- practice getting in touch with the present moment.
Emotional self-care is about learning how to manage your emotions. This can include practicing deep breathing, utilizing distraction techniques when you feel overwhelmed, noticing your triggers- the people, places or things that cause you to be reactive, and learning how to avoid getting “hooked” by your triggers.
Physical self-care is about taking care of your physical body. Incorporating whole foods into your diet. What you put into your body either energizes or depletes you. Moving your body every day. It is important to find joyful ways to move your body. Drinking at least eight cups of water daily. Did you know that it is recommended to drink 8-11 cups of water daily to keep your brain adequately hydrated?
Environmental self-care is about taking care of your space. Looking around your home and noticing which items spark joy and which don’t. Cluttered spaces have been tied to increased cortisol levels. While cleaning and organizing are linked to a decrease in anxiety and depression.
Incorporating spirituality in your life can include finding yourself a mentor, a rebbetzin that you connect with—joining a weekly shiir, listening to a lecture—spending time in nature. There are many ways to connect to spirituality if you seek it out.
Recreational self-care can look like planning fun trips with your family. Taking up a new hobby, playing a sport.
Lastly, social self-care is about spending time with friends and people who fill your cup. We are social beings, and we are wired for connection; I think in this digital age that we live in, people can forget that. It is important that the people that you choose to spend your time with make you feel loved, connected, and safe.
You can expect to feel more energized, have more capacity to give to others and feel more positive and excited about life when you start to prioritize self-care. What is one small self-care act that you can start incorporating in your day TODAY?
Miriam Klein, LCSW, is a social worker in private practice in Aventura. Miriam is passionate about teaching women how to set healthy boundaries, repair relationships, and develop healthier self-esteem. Miriam is trained in EMDR therapy and views issues from a trauma lens.
Contact info
347-926-3659
mklein@healingrenewal.org
